Ads I Hate!

This time, it's not so much the ad I hate, it's the concept it's pushing. Diet Pepsi has recently flooded the markets with televised announcements that they now include freshness dates on cans and bottles of their product. Let me repeat this in case you haven't caught one of these a series of television spots, a Pepsico executive appears onscreen and informs us that, from now on, containers of Diet Pepsi will be freshness dated.

Why don't they just come right out and say it?

"We, the makers of Diet Pepsi are united in the belief that you, the consumers of America, are the biggest bunch of bozos on God's green earth. We are convinced that you, the American buying public, will blindly accept the notion that potassium benzoate is perishable, thaf phosphoric acid has a short shelf life. That aspartame (or "Nutrasweet", as we laughingly refer to it. Nutra! Right!) is a by-product of some exotic fruit that must be harvested with care at the peak of its freshness and flavor.

We, the same suits who brought you those annoying Be young, Drink Pepsi spots, have been having a good laugh at your expense for some weeks now, as we envisioned you saps lapping this nonsense up with a spoon. Freshness dates. On cans of Diet Pepsi! Think about it!

Or, better yet, don't think about it. Just buy the swill. Hey, it's freshness-dated, must be good for you, right? Right! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!"

I fear this is the beginning of a trend. Mark my words, it's only a matter of time before we see freshness dates on Comet, Saran Wrap, even Twinkies.

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